Sometimes my inner weather shifts from a clear view of where I’m headed to standing in front of a wall of mental fog, not knowing what to do next. Now is one of those times. Projects are arranged in piles of what needs to be done. Ideas swirl around in my thinking, and an old dream rises up within me speaking in a creaky voice, “Now is the time.” Disappointment and Insecurity are quick to respond with, “You tried that before and nothing happened. You have proof. Just look in your drawer full of files… Life is short. Should you really be wasting your time on this? Will you ever let that dream die?” Then feeling overwhelmed, confused, I ask myself, “What am I AIMing for here?”
While studying my word of the year, AIM, a friend, who has experience in archery told me that it is important to keep aiming until the arrow hits the mark, and to aim with your body, and know how to breathe. That archery advice translates to my life and especially my thought process now. It is hard to hold the bow steady, to remember to breathe, and to breathe at the right moment in order to keep steady and hit the mark. I am asking the questions: What am I aiming at right now? What is my bow for this situation? What are my arrows? How do I get ready, aim, and fire at the center of the target? So many questions….
Times like these, I realize I need to gain perspective and wisdom outside of myself. I happened to have a timely lunch scheduled with a dear friend, artist, and colleague. As kindred spirits, we freely share about life, art and faith, our work etc. With all our similarities and things in common, we also have different strengths, like iron sharpening iron, challenging one another to reach higher. Our meeting was that kind of meeting for me. She courageously told me I was blocked and challenged me to get to work on the dream, just the next step, as imperfect as it may be. Then she said the most amazing thing, “I am in this with you. You can do it. You need to do it. Go home and start doing it today.” Whoa! She hardly ever talks to me with such force. I was jolted into action, went home, facing Disappointment and Insecurity, trusting in the midst of the fog, taking the next imperfect step, trying to hold the bow, learning to breathe again.