Sometimes fear has kept me from taking the time to quiet myself and listen. It’s not so much being afraid of something, but afraid of nothing; that I would be left alone, empty, wanting and needing more. What if God doesn’t show up? This thinking says more about me than God, but when I’m in it, I don’t want to see it; I don’t want to feel that way so I busy myself. I have given into fear instead of stepping out in faith. I feel I have to earn God’s love… just try harder… and maybe He will like me more. It grows out of my lack of belief that God is good all the time and that He cares enough about me to spend time with me.
Recently, through God’s grace, friends, and reading, I have been renouncing this thinking, in spite of my feelings or my past. God is good… all the time, and he is crazy about me (and you too!). I am choosing to accept that I am a work in progress and that it’s okay.
This blessing is about time and space with God: an audience of One, inner healing, experiencing His unfailing love, gaining vision, and being brave enough to risk silence with the God of the Universe who also longs to be the God of my heart. Here’s the text from the blessing:
“‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,’
says the Lord, who has compassion on you”
– Isaiah 54:10 NIV
“I saw a little child, with bandaged eyes,
Put up its hands to feel its mother’s face;
She bent, and took the tender groping palms,
And pressed them to her lips a little space.
I know a soul made blind by its desires,
And yet its faith keeps feeling for God’s face–
Bend down, O Mighty Love, and let that faith
One little moment touch Thy lips of Grace.”
– Anna J. Grannis
“Be Thou my Vision O Lord of my Heart…”