One thing I am thankful to God for is His willingness and desire to meet me where I'm at. In my deep hurt, with just a Bible and a box of kleenex, I desperately asked Him to help me, comfort me, show me how to get His vision of the mess around me. He did. The Words on the page became living, exactly for my situation. Shortly after that, I experienced the sweetness of God through other people. I was blessed with kindness through visits, phone calls, and written words. All in one day. None of them knew I was grieving. I felt like God gathered my tears and sent them as messages to those who love me, and they came with healing and love. He met my need and I was filled with gratitude.

"Letting go"- that is part of the theme for my year, and I'm finding it is multi-faceted. Letting go of my comfort zone in order to receive abundance, or in the other extreme, going through the process of letting go of deep hurt and disappointment. Sometimes it's so hard to know what to do with difficult people you love. I found Sharon Gibson's blog quite helpful with letting go:

http://www.conflicttopeaceinrelationships.com/category/letting-go/

A few weeks ago, Keith and I went out to dinner with our good friends, Bill and Mary. Mary referred to someone (it may have been Dali Lama) who answered a question about what he does when his feelings are hurt. He said he nurtures them like a crying child until they are comforted. I like that. It's okay, even good, to feel it, to face it, to get alone and cry a bucket of tears if necessary, to be gentle with oneself through the process.

In this journal entry of my moleskine journal, I illuminated the words "Forgive" "Accept" and "Let go" because that's what I need to do, that is what is difficult. I cannot do it on my own. God wants to help me, He is helping me and will continue to help me.

The other day I was listening to music by Selah and a line popped out that I hadn't really heard before.

"with faith to move ahead and let go of the past, I turn to you Jesus…"