Making a Blessing (or why do I keep doing this art thing anyway?)

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A visual prayer in my Prayer Journal

“We’re all winners!” I used to say that a lot when I taught school, and meant it. My family rolls their eyes. It bothered some people, especially the athletes, so naturally I kept saying it. :)  But I know it’s not always true.

I woke up this morning asking God why the success of my artwork or “art-life” has fizzled time after time. I’ve come so close to finding my niche and then poof, nothing. Even in teaching, the school I taught at closed just as the art integration program was taking off the ground with nothing but enthusiasm from students, staff and parents.

Last night I was sharing this with my friend Carol. She said it sounds like an anti-miracle. I had never thought of it that way. But if that is true, then God has had his hand in what I perceive as a lack of success. So this morning I asked him about it. And I actually got an answer.

I was reminded of a conversation over twenty years earlier. I went to my husband Keith’s Aunt Joann to seek wisdom about a problem I was having with someone. She advised that I give the hurt to God who loves me, trust Him, and ask Him to make me a blessing. So I did. From that point on, before I get out of bed in the morning, I’ve tried to remember to ask God to make me a blessing.

Today I sensed God saying in answer to my question, “I’ve been making you a blessing. Your artwork is a vehicle for you to bless others, but it is not the blessing itself. It is a tool, a symbol of blessing. Your value does not lie in making great art or being a great artist. I love you. I made you and you are precious to me.”

I bet I’m not the only one who has had these kinds of feelings and experiences. Do you ever struggle with this sort of thing and ask, “Why do I keep doing this art thing anyway?” I know God loves YOU too, and YOU are precious to Him.

As I’m reading other blogs and talking with people, it is clear that life really is all about relationships. So I am going to trust God to lead, keep on making art because he made me to (and I love it), act on opportunities I have peace about, and leave “success” part to Him. It helps to say it and write it out loud.

Blessings to you this day!

Valerie

"Never, never, never give up."       ~Winston Churchill 

All images & text ©Valerie Sjodin 2010.