A Breakthrough in Worship Painting

One of my dreams in the past year has been to paint as worship during a worship service at our church. At the same time, this was a scary thought because I have always been a studio painter and even more than that, I wondered if I could really worship, focusing on God and not on others or their view of me. It was one of those illusive paradoxical things like losing my life to find it. I realized it needed to be God at work in my mind and my heart. Then one Sunday I was so moved by worship and could see a painting in my imagination being painted that I told the pastor and worship leaders that I would like to worship using paint. They were incredibly gracious and supportive. But after that I went home and to be honest, freaked out. I hear the old tapes of "who do you think you are?" "You can't do that, you paint too slow, in layers, there's not time for it to dry…" "Do you think you can really focus on only God while you are painting in front of people?" You get the idea; the inner battle was raging and I felt inadequate. On the other hand I felt conflicted because deep down I felt compelled, that I was meant to do it. So I prayed, painted and pushed through the intense angst. My husband was incredibly understanding, saying, "It's going to be good, because anytime you wrestle this hard it means growth and something new and good comes from it." Then met with Kevin, my pastor, who totally freed me up. The pressure was off and I left excited as if I had come into the light and was now free to paint and worship. God was touching my heart, healing, and changing my mind. I felt His Spirit at work. As I painted I felt such joy. The word I got to paint was "breakthrough", a breakthrough of God's love into our hearts and minds, healing us to be all He has made us to be. As Pam said after church, "We are children of God's love." 

"For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." 2 Corinthians 4:6-7 NLT