Paradox of Rest

During this season, I am asking a question asked in one of my favorite books, Inner Compass, The author Margaret Silf, asks, Am I being drawn or driven?

For me, the answer to that question reveals the source and motivation of what I choose to do. Being drawn is responding to God’s invitation with a ‘Yes.’ My word for this year is Flow, and I imagine myself entering into the river of God. Surrendering to the current, being secure in God’s love to the point of relaxing, putting my feet up, head back and not resisting the flow that seems too fast much of the time. This has been my challenge for an entire year. I cannot say I am always in that place of surrender and trust, even though I want to be. I have found though, when I flow with what God is doing, I have the grace, creativity, energy and time to do what I’m called to do.

Being driven is striving to accomplish my own agenda or someone else’s. One thing has become clear. I cannot strive to reach God’s goals. I cannot “make it happen.”

Maybe they weren’t God’s goals for me in the first place. I have lived so much of my life not listening to my body, thinking if I just push through and work harder I will reach the goal. When the goal was reached, it was often accompanied by a sense of emptiness, the opposite of the fullness God calls me into.Hebrews 4:9-11 in

The Passion Translation

says,"So we conclude that there is still a full and complete rest waiting for Believers to experience. As we enter into God's faith-rest life we cease from our own works, just as God celebrates His finished works and rests in them. So then we must give our all and be eager to experience this faith-rest life, so that no one falls short by following the same pattern of doubt and unbelief."

Each prayer begins with stillness, resting in God’s presence. I guess I should not be surprised that stillness and rest are challenging for me during this time. Stillness is no longer an option for me to move forward. It is necessary. Paradoxical. Out of stillness and connection with God, I can move forward in more productive ways, often beyond measure. Guilt-free. Comparison-free. This new season is one of giving permission to be free, free to BE, free to dream, free to create, to love!